I was watching one of Chris Rock’s stand up routines recently; Chris was telling the women in the audience that anytime a man is being nice, it’s because he’s offering sex (or ‘dick’ as he put it).

So if a guy says, “Wow, you look great!” what he really means is, “Wow, you really look great, would you like some dick?”

And remember that ‘desirable’ women including rich women, beautiful women, and famous women, are used to being treated like queens. (It’s really no fault of theirs; even very handsome men are notorious for acting arrogant. It’s part of being human. We can all become spoiled easily if the right combination of circumstances arises. By the way, it’s good to keep a “You’re spoiled, and I don’t really blame you for it… you were just lucky to be born beautiful and have everyone kiss your ass” attitude…)

Being spoiled, these women act bratty to get their way. However, the ass kissing and always getting their way also has another effect. Since they are so used to being courted and having a man kiss their ass, when you show up, act funny and charming, and don’t play into any of their games (make fun of them, do the pretend ass-kisser imitation, tell them that they want you, tease them, don’t answer ANY of their questions about job, car, home, social life, where you go, etc. and even label all of those questions as, “Did you get a list of these questions like all the other shallow women around here?” etc.) it often has the effect of them thinking, “Wow, this is sure DIFFERENT”, which gets their attention. The humor and arrogance (arrogance based on self-knowing, not on outer success) keeps their attention.

I think that it’s all about interrupting the current train of thought with some type of DIFFERENT AND INTERESTING behavior. You can use tricks, props, or whatever, but you have to interrupt the woman and first get her attention… then you can get to the good part of doing the things that give her the FEELINGS that she wants and playing the part of the MAN that her unconscious wants.

Many experts talk of establishing rapport, acting like them, etc. initially… I’ve found that breaking rapport usually works better for me. (Rapport is the concept of breathing, moving, and talking like another person so they feel a connection with you.)

But it’s a special kind of breaking rapport that I practice. I break rapport in a funny and charming way, which actually ASSUMES rapport from the beginning. (I insult women that I don’t know in a playful way all the time. Her only real choices with which to respond internally and externally are, “This guy is a jerk – I’m outta here” or “You’ve got some balls – but you’re damn funny – and for some reason, I feel like I know you…”)

When you point out a woman’s quirks or insecurities in a way that makes her laugh, you do so many positive things at once. She can’t deny that the things you’re saying are true, BECAUSE SHE’S LAUGHING. And she can’t really hate you too much; because it’s kind of fun.

source: www.doubleyourdating.com

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Dating after a breakup can be more than a little bit intimidating. No matter how much experience you had with the dating game before your long-term relationship you’ve been out of the swing of things for a little while and need to take things slowly in order to get your rhythm back. While you’re taking a walk on the single side keep these things in mind when planning your next date.

Keep these four reasons in mind for taking things slow and your next few dates should be a huge success.

Rebuilding confidence takes a little time. When your long-term relationship ended your confidence probably took a hit. It’s not easy admitting that you couldn’t make it work (even if you were the one to call things off) to yourself or anyone else. By taking things slow you’re giving yourself the opportunity to regain your footing and your confidence one date at a time rather than going all in to find out your in very deep water with no sign of the shore.

Love doesn’t happen instantly (at least not very often). There are some who might make a good argument for love at first sight. The rest of us have discovered that love takes a little time to build and sort out. If you rush into love you might find out quickly that it is purely chemical instead. Chemistry can be great but not when you’re in a vulnerable state. Unfortunately for you the first few dates after a breakup are you in a vulnerable state.

Avoid the rebound roller coaster. Rebound relationships can suck all the joy out of your future dating prospects. No one wants to be in a rebound relationship and yet so many people find they are almost helpless to avoid them. We want to recapture that intimacy- emotional and physical- that was lost when the relationship ended and we dive in too far too fast into the next relationship. It’s a recipe for heartbreak and might prolong your ride on the road to recovery.

Your heart may not be in rhythm with your brain. While your head may be convinced that you need to get out there and start dating again your heart may not be ready to take the plunge. Don’t push your heart into something you are really not ready for. It takes time to heal from the loss of a long-term lover and friend. If they were replaced that easily we wouldn’t appreciate them nearly as much.

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As you can see there are many reasons not to rush into the arms of another lover after a breakup. Here’s one more: your real goal might be to get your ex back instead of finding someone new. No matter how lost you believe this cause to be there is still hope. Begin with step one from this free video: http://www.magicofmakingup.com and work your way back into your ex’s arms before you know what’s hit you.
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There are all kind of dating dilemmas you can find yourself in at any given time. When dating after a breakup there are a few additional, but potentially painful, pitfalls to keep in mind. Avoiding them from the ‘get go’ can save you a lot of explaining and more than a few bottles of aspirin along the way.

So, what should you avoid when dating someone new after a breakup?

Your ex. Running into your ex while you’re out on a date with a new interest might not only prove to be painful for you but could be quite awkward for the person your currently on a date with. You owe it to your new date to try to find a neutral place where your ex isn’t likely to be. You know the favorite haunts of your ex – now is a good time to make yourself scarce from those places.

Running into old friends who don’t know you’ve broken up. It happens but you know the places where you and your ex were commonly seen. If you were weekly regulars for pub quiz it’s probably not a good idea to bring your new date to this week’s challenge. At least get to know each other a good bit before you start bringing her around old friends who might not be as receptive to someone new in your life as you are. Believe me your new date does not want to spend the evening being judged by not only you but also friends of the person you dated before.

Don’t make the mistake of assuming your new date will like a certain food, music, or activity just because your ex did. The odds are good that the new person in your life has a few unique qualities, traits, and interests. It would be wise for you to spend a little time getting to know all about them before you make any snap decisions or try to lock the new person you’re dating into some sort of stereotype or mold.

Be flexible. One of the worst things you can do when dating someone new is have a set in stone idea of how the evening should go and an unwillingness to deviate from the plan. You need to be able to adapt at a few zingers that might come your way during the evening. You’ll get extra points for understanding that your date is allergic to seafood and quickly changing dinner plans to somewhere a little less “fishy” or whatever last minute substitutions become necessary and you’ll both have a lot more fun if you allow some spontaneity to prevail throughout the evening.

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Have you decided that despite your best attempts at dating someone new there is only one person for you? It happens. Now you need a plan to get your ex back. I can help with that. All you need to do is start with step one: http://www.magicofmakingup.com and you’ll be on your way in no time.
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Aside from the rudeness factor there are plenty of great reasons you should never compare the person you’re dating after a breakup (or hope to be dating for that matter) to your ex. Take them to heart and remember them well as you dive back into the dating game after your breakup.

Sometimes it’s the differences in the people we meet along the way that make our lives so much richer. If you keep looking for clone replacements you might miss out on some of the amazing things someone completely new and different would introduce you to. There’s no replacement for diversity. It is the spice of life after all. Could it be just the right seasoning for true love to bloom and really take hold?

Things didn’t work out with your ex. Why on earth would you try to replace your ex with an exact duplicate? This is the one that confuses me most. Obviously there was trouble in Camelot or you would never have broken up in the first place. Seeing as there are a few irreconcilable differences it would make sense to look for someone new and different this time around.

You might see a few of your own flaws reflected in the comparisons. No one is really all that interested in seeing their flaws spread out before them but the very things you see as potential flaws in your ex and/or the new person you’re considering dating may also be flaws that you have as well. If you’re being truly objective you’ll eventually have to confront your own flaws and stop obsessing over the perceived flaws you see in your current and former love interests.

Comparisons can be useful in many situations. The problem arises when you put too much stock in the observations. Differences are a good thing when you’re trying to move on from a relationship that didn’t work out for you the first time around.

It cheapens the entire experience. What happens if you decide the new love interest isn’t enough like your ex to matter? What could you have missed out on by this simple dismissal? It cheapens the entire dating experience. Let yourself date the person you’re interested in and give that person an opportunity to show an interest in you. You may or may not find a soul mate but it won’t be on the basis of something that prejudged you or your date to be someone other than who you are.

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Have you decided that the only person that will work for you is the one that got away? It happens more often than you realize and this leaves you looking for ways to get your ex back. I can help you with that. Check out this free video: http://www.magicofmakingup.com and start step one right away.
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One common thing for people to do after a long-term relationship is dive right into a rebound relationship. No matter how much you think this new relationship feels like love if you have fallen really hard really fast the odds are good that it is, in fact, a rebound relationship and not the true love you believe you’ve found.

If the feelings are so intense and seem so real what can you do to prevent this phenomenon from happening to you?

Take things slowly when dating someone new. The first few dates after a breakup can be as terrifying as they can be exciting. These are both rather intense extremes. If you rush into things you might be in over your heard before you even know the water is deep. Take things slow. Date and do nothing more. Don’t get physical and don’t work to get inside each other’s minds just yet either.

Date more than one person. Don’t set your sights on one person only. This is especially important for the first few dates following the breakup. Dating after a breakup doesn’t have to be like playing the field but you should spread things around between at least two or three different people before you focus your attentions on any one person. This helps you avoid intense feelings for one single person early on and gives you a little more time to come to terms with the breakup and the loss of intimacy.

Avoid seeking replacements. You can’t replace the one that got away. You also can’t replace the level of love and commitment that you’ve lost. There is no point in trying. The best you can hope for is to build something new and different with someone new and special. Even that will take a little time. Don’t rush into anything and you should be able to stay off the relationship rollercoaster known as a rebound relationship.

Limit yourself to one evening per week with someone new for several months. If you believe you’re starting to have feelings for a certain someone there will be this urge to spend every waking moment together. Fight that urge. If it’s going to be a genuine romance it will stand up to strict limits for time. This will also give you a little time to pick up on any potential red flags and warning signs that you might miss if you dive right in and allow things to get too intense too quickly.

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The other reason you want to avoid rebound relationships is to give yourself time to see if it’s really over with your ex. If you aren’t ready to give up on your ex there is a way to get your ex back. It all starts with the first step I teach in this free video: http://www.magicofmakingup.com. See what it can do for you.
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Psychologists often say that a relationship is strengthened by the conversations you have with your mate. Thus, it follows that you could also determine if a man would make a good boyfriend or not through the things he talks about. Use this guide to conversation subjects to figure out a guy’s boyfriend potential.

1.    Gadgets and other possessions. A man who keeps talking about the things he owns is most likely compensating for something that he lacks. Maybe he is insecure about his looks. It could also be that he feels that he won’t be taken seriously unless he has the right car and the latest mobile phone. Needless to say, this kind of man won’t make a good boyfriend.

2.    His childhood.  If a guy talks about being a kid and his family, it means he wants you to get to know him better. It’s his way of showing you that he already trusts you enough to tell you about his past. This guy would probably make a good boyfriend because he makes an effort to draw you into his life.

3.    His past girlfriends. It’s not a good idea to be with a man who always makes references to his exes. Perhaps, he has many unresolved issues with them or he still hasn’t moved on. It’s even worse if he likes to brag about how he wowed them with his grand gestures. This man is clearly not yet ready to jump into another relationship.

4.    Hobbies. Unless he talks about what he likes to do 100 percent of the time, it’s a good thing if a guy is fascinated by things other than his work. This means that this man is energetic and open to enriching experiences. Being with him will never be boring.

5.    Other people. A man who always talks about other people has no life of his own. Instead, he concentrates on the lives of others. He either envies them or he just can’t mind his own business. Being with this guy will drive you crazy because he’s never going to enjoy just hanging out with you. He will always be looking at other people and picking on them.

So, if you’re looking for a boyfriend, you have to engage your so-called candidates in conversations. Don’t just talk for the sake of talking. Talk to them to find out what makes them tick. Take note of how they present themselves to the world.

Paula Owen has been passionate about writing articles for the last 5 years. Check out her latest website Plus Size Shorts which reviews and lists the latest plus size shorts so you can decide which plus size shorts best suit your wardrobe needs.
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So here’s the thing, I’ve been dating this girl for a while now. She’s the type that seems like crave attention from other men, so she likes going out to clubs, parties etc. She also likes interacting with men online, flirting and things like that. I can’t say I like the way she interacts and conducts herself around other men.

I’ve noticed that she’s also territorial. She gets very jealous if she thinks I’m out partying, hanging out with other women, talking to women online etc. Basically if I do anything she does, she’d get jealous. She’s pretty much selfish in that sense and admits it.

The thing is, she says she doesn’t want to be in a relationship at the moment. She says that they never work out for her, and that it seems that as soon as she makes her relationships official, they start to go downhill. Kind of superstitious I guess. But then again, she doesn’t want to just “fool/mess around” with me because she doesn’t want to “share” me with other women. Again, selfish.

So basically, we’re somewhere in the middle I guess. Honestly Doc, I can’t say I trust her. To me it seems like she would be happy if she could have me and other men without me knowing or having a problem with it. She just seems like one of those girls that love to roam, and run wild and free.

Anyway, I’ve noticed that my insecurities are growing. I tend to kind of check on certain things she does because in the back of my mind, I’m thinking there’s a chance she’s “playing” me. I know this isn’t good. The more I do it, the weaker I’ll become. But the thing is, she’s not exactly the overly affectionate/expressive type, and with her being the type that likes to be around men and craves their attention, I end up second guessing how she might feel about me at any given moment which causes me to ask her questions and confront her about certain things I dislike. I know none of this is good, and this is why I’m here.

I want to be able to have the control to pretty much not care what she’s doing, and not be tempted to ask her questions about how she feels. I know that a self-confident, secure guy who doesn’t complain is obviously more attractive. It’s always been a difficult thing for me once I’ve gotten a bit attached to the girl. So I was hoping you could maybe give me a few pointers on how to deal with this situation and turn the tables on her so that she could be the one stressing out, wondering, asking me questions, getting jealous etc. Yet I don’t want to push her completely away. I just want to have complete control if you get what I’m saying.

Hello!

I can’t say you SHOULD like the way she deals with other men either! In fact, it’s damn disrespectful to you and your relationship!

Why in the hell are you being such a pussy about this? She doesn’t want YOU to have a life or any fun but she won’t give you what you want either. Don’t you see the problem here? She can only do this if you LET her do it! Further, she only does it because you do let her get away with it! She’s not the problem my brother; YOU are the problem.

OF COURSE your insecurities are growing! What else can they do? You apparently don’t want to man-up and tell this girl the facts. Instead, you’d rather act like a scared little boy; fearful of losing her, than to demand what you deserve – and feel comfortable walking if you don’t get it.

What you aren’t seeing is this: it’s exactly BECAUSE you won’t stand up for yourself that she doesn’t want anything real with you! No woman is going to invest herself in some guy that she doesn’t feel safe and secure with. If you don’t know your worth or value, how will she even know it?

Even your goal is wrong here. You’re hoping to discover some technique to not care what she does or says. That’s exactly the opposite of what you should be doing. Instead, you should hold her responsible for it – and tell her in absolute terms that HER actions are causing YOU to go find someone smarter than she is!

You’re wrong also about what a confident, secure guy would do. I’m one of those (and just as arrogant too! , so here’s what I’d do:

I’d tell this girl this: “Go out and eat hamburger if you want. I’m looking for a girl that likes steak and I’ve decided I’m going to find her. If you ever develop a taste for it, let me know, but so far, you haven’t.”

Then, I’d be in the arms of the next pretty girl I saw – with her watching me. If she’s this jaded, I might even get her to help me meet this girl! I’ve done this more than once. Any girl that won’t commit to me becomes the vehicle by which I meet such a girl. Yes, they hate that, but I deserve better treatment! I’ve actually asked girls that told me they weren’t looking for “…a relationship right now…” to introduce me to someone else at the bar!

Now, do you think that doesn’t get these girl’s competitive juices flowing? Do you think that doesn’t make me a prize in their eyes? If you think any of these things, you’re mistaken my friend. In fact, it does all these things.

What you do is to give away all your power to the girl because you’re attracted to her. It’s that very power she needs to see in order to feel attraction back. She neither wants it from you nor can use it when you give it to her. It’s yours to keep, but you have to decide once and for all that you’re worth more than you’re getting. Until you make this simple decision, you’re not worthy of it – and she knows it which is exactly why she treats you this way.

You don’t get “complete control” by backing away. You get control by taking it.

Best regards…

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Have a love, dating, sex or relationship question? You can write to me or get more information about “Being a Man in a Woman’s World tm” by going to: http://BeingAMan.com. Be sure to check out the new BAM! TV at http://BeingAMan.tv. Follow me on Facebook (http://tinyurl.com/cas4w9) and Twitter (http://tinyurl.com/d3pecs).

Copyright (c) 2010, Dr. Dennis W. Neder

All rights reserved.

Dr. Neder is known around the world as a tough, but fair relationship expert, dealing with all sorts of dating, sex and relationship issues from a man\’s perspective. Having written 3 books (\”Being a Man in a Woman\’s World™\” series) and is working on others, hundreds of articles, been on hundreds of radio and TV shows, he is funny, direct and intuitive. Do you have a burning question that needs an answer? Are you a man that wants to better experiences with women, or a woman that wants to better understand men? To learn more, go to http://beingaman.com.
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Unless your grandchild-obsessed parents have blackmailed you into the date or you agreed to it in a fit of boredom, then your objective is to make a great impression on the said date.

So, check out these first-date reminders:

1. Don’t sell yourself too hard.
Resist the urge to throw your résumé at your date—no matter how wonderful it is. She won’t
be impressed by the fact you have a PhD if she finds you annoying. On a first date, put your best foot forward discreetly like so: “Well, now that you mention it, I like pandas and have tirelessly campaigned for saving them since I was a chubby little kid.” The “formula” is easy. You should always complement the nice-guy detail you reveal with something self-deprecating. A hard-sell man is hard to like.

2. Don’t discuss your ex.
Who cares if you’ve just come from a very bad breakup? Talking about your ex on the first date is just plain bad taste. You’ll give the impression that you’re not ready for anyone new. One sentence about your ex is enough. Beyond that, well, you can look forward to eating alone…for the rest of your life.

3. Don’t let your date pay for anything.
Even if your date insists on splitting the bill, make sure that you’re the only one reaching for cash. This is especially significant if you were the one who asked her out. Thus, if your date protests your generosity, tell her, “You can buy me coffee next time.” This way, you make it clear to her that you are a man of means and that you want to see her again.

4. Don’t ask intrusive questions.
There’s a line of questioning that’s sure to make your date hate you and it goes something like this: “Why are you still single?” Never put your date on the defensive by requiring her to justify why she’s dating. Many men still make this mistake. You should only ask this question if you suspect that she’s married or otherwise attached. Otherwise, you should just thank your lucky stars that she is single and out on a date with you.      

5. Don’t get smug.
Never think that your date’s smiles and compliments on your looks guarantee a second date. Women are good at being plastic, you know. You won’t get a second date until after all the details of your first date have been dissected by her friends and, maybe, her mother.

Paula Owen has been passionate about writing articles for the last 5 years. Check out her latest website Plus Size Shorts which reviews and lists the latest plus size intimates so you can decide which plus size intimates best suit your wardrobe needs.
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Though it’s been said that there is such a thing as “love at first sight,” we all know that it doesn’t exactly work that way. You don’t really know if you want to commit to someone the very moment you meet. That takes a whole lot of work.

But, before things get too serious, you must first enjoy getting to know a guy. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you have to waste your time on hopeless cases. Check out this list of clues that you can use to gauge whether a guy is right for you in a matter of minutes.

1. He immediately knows what mood you’re in.
A guy doesn’t have to be a mind reader to know what you’re thinking. If he’s interested in you, it’s likely that he would take note of your mannerisms and body language. By observing you closely, he would have an idea about how you’re feeling without even asking you. However, if he’s unsure about what kind of mood you’re in, he’ll probably say, “I want to know if you’re feeling fine. If you’ve had a bad day, you can talk to me about it.”

2. Your friends welcome him right away.
Assuming that your friends are all well-adjusted adults who want you to find your perfect match, they’ll be more discerning when it comes to assessing a guy’s character. If he’s a genuinely good guy who is open to meeting new people, then your friends will warm up to him right away. It’s really up to you to decide if you want the guy in your life — but your friends’ opinions will also help you make the right move.

3. He remembers and notices the little things.
A guy who is a great listener will take note of all the things you told him. He also makes an effort to find out what you like or don’t like. It indicates that he is fascinated by all the information he can get about you. When he first sees you, he’ll probably say, “You look great in that dress.”

4. He assures you that he’ll call.
While some men play mind games, a sincere guy will not leave anything to chance. He won’t leave you hanging. He won’t let you go crazy wondering if you’ll ever see him again. Early on in your date, he would say, “I shall call you at lunch tomorrow.” If he doesn’t say anything like this the first chance he gets, he’ll probably say it before your date ends. You just have to find a way to contain your excitement.

It’s safe to say that these initial clues can help determine if a guy is worth your while.

Paula Owen has been passionate about writing articles for the last 5 years. Check out her latest website Plus Size Shorts which reviews and lists the latest plus size clothes so you can decide which women’s plus size clothes best suit your wardrobe needs.
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For some reason, women tend to overanalyze things when it comes to dating and relationships. After each date, for example, we call our friends and talk about every little detail of the event. This is fine. After all, we get clues to a guy’s personality through the things he does. Unfortunately, overdoing the analysis can take the fun out of dating. To help remind women to loosen up and allow themselves to laugh, here are some quirky dating rules:

1. You can be superficial.
If the guy you’re dating shows up wearing a shirt that looks as if it’s been mangled by wild animals or if he wear too much jewelry, you are allowed to do whatever you can to cancel the date. You can ask a friend to give you a call on your mobile phone and pretend that there’s an emergency situation you have to deal with. You could also just tell the guy that you’re not feeling well.

2. You can keep score.
There are things that you want a guy to do for you such as opening the door, helping you get seated or carrying your handbag. You can come up with a scoring system and give him points for the things he does right. It’s up to you to decide what score would earn him another date.

3. You can judge him by his handshake.
They say that a person’s handshake says a lot about his personality. If the guy has a light handshake, then he’s probably shy or indecisive. If he has a strong grip, then he’s confident or arrogant. Figure out if your date has a handshake that makes you want to get to know him more.

4. You can demand attention.
You’re allowed to feel resentful when a guy spends most of the time on his mobile phone during your date. Unless he’s dealing with genuine emergencies, then it’s your cue to cut the date short and just hang out with your friends.

5. You can show your boredom.
You should always be polite, but you shouldn’t keep on pretending that you’re having fun if the guy you’re with is boring. The worst kind of guy is one who keeps asking you juvenile or self-absorbed questions such as “Do you think I look good in this shirt?” It’s not your duty to cater to his ego. You should not be burdened with his insecurities on a date. It’s just not right.

If there are too many things about a guy that bothers you early on, then it’s most likely that you two are not meant for each other. 

Paula Owen has been passionate about writing articles for the last 5 years. Check out her latest website Plus Size Shorts which reviews and lists the latest plus size intimates so you can decide which plus size intimates best suit your wardrobe needs.
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